Saturday, 28 May 2011

Funeral Drama

Real life drama is true entertainment and sometimes it’s better than those trashy soaps that the idiot box injects you with. I will tell you something and I tell you this with the experiences that have come my way. Funeral is the best place these days to find the real life drama. Yes my reading idiots yes! Funeral it is.

Don’t believe me? Roll a JCB over your “I DON’T ATTEND FUNERALS” phobia and find time to attend one and you would rightfully agree.

Scene 1- Grief is in the air. The large courtyard is the venue for the disastrous occasion. Interestingly the family has found time to import orchids and white tulips to accessorize the venue. The casket protects the body of a wrinkled old man who seems disinterested in what’s happening around. Eyes closed and forced into a crisp black suit, hands folded clutching a cross. He just lies there and that’s his role. They made sure that his casket is made of rosewood. Status is important, though the man who left for his heavenly (subject to change) abode was despised dearly. The service is to start in five minutes.

Scene 2- The eldest daughter is not happy with the black boat necked black dress she got herself for the occasion. The younger son is perturbed with the fact that it’s the other son who gets to do the eulogy. The wife of the man in the leading role (the casket man) sits still. She hated him while he was alive but now realizes that when he left her with some peace, he made her a widow.

Scene 3- Neighbors, well-wishers, haters, envious but now relieved rivals, sly relatives pour in and take the seats. The ladies glance across the rows comparing the hats, the gowns, the lip colors. The men remain still while their mind acts like the judge deciding who would be the getting the biggest chunk of the dead old man's property.

Scene 4- The priest starts the service and reads out phrases from the Holy book. It is then followed by the most awaited EULOGY. The elder son makes his way gallantly towards the stage and clears his throat. His baritone echoes throughout the courtyard. Words like ‘Lord loved him more’, ‘he is still among us’, ‘he was a great father’ are part of the eulogy. His wife gives him THE LOOK and he knows that something is missing. His stern expression changes into an emotional heart breaking tear pouring one. His part is done and so he steps down. The choir in designer gowns starts singing ‘JESUS IS CALLING’, when a phone starts ringing barbarically. Jesus is truly calling I guess.

Scene 5- The service is over and the gathering turns noisy. The elder crowd discusses the property division. The women still cling on to the makeup stories. The husbands talk about business ventures. The widow sits near the casket reliving the past. She would miss him though he was not a good husband. Now she is dependent on the mercy of her three children. The priest is not happy with the gift he received for the service he rendered. More green notes are needed. The three children discuss about the funeral expense and finally decide that their mother the widow should also hand over her share.After all it was her husband too.

Scene 6- Fast forward. The service is over; the body rests deep in the soil. Happy that it is not a part of this masked world. Hell might be more genuine. A big black and white expensively framed photo of him is nailed to the front room wall. His story ends there.

P.S- This is not the story of every funeral. True emotions are a part of many but with the passage of time, relationships are just becoming word of mouth. Reality is turning bitter day by day.

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